Beware of false and true "attack" combination

Today we went to buy an iPod for my son.

The shop where we bought the iPod failed to neutralize the
sensor/sticker in the package that causes the alarm to go off at the exit from the shop. So it sounded when we left, but since I knew that I paid for it and the guys in the shop simply didn't pay attention to it, so we just walked away.
And here is the interesting part of the story.
We went on to visit several shops, in each shop the alarm went off on our entry, then the sales men would check us, find out that it is the iPod from another shop and then - just forget us. It seems that they never even thought to check us for the second time when the alarm went off on our leaving the shop. We could've taken the whole shop with us and they wouldn't notice!

This reminded me of something that I heard once.
This technique is often used by the crooks. They let you check something, let you see that it is OK and then take it back for just a second - to switch for something else or to reduce the amount of cash for example. When they hand it back to you - you will not double-check it since you "already checked" and feel sure that it's OK.

So, do not hesitate to re-check!

IT Manager vs. Security Officer - using "kill with a borrowed knife" & "let him have it and regret!"

A true story.

In a mid size company, its IT department manager has discovered that the security (SO) officer of the company is trying to gain some more power in the company. In this case - come control over the IT department. To this end the SO persuaded CEO of the company to allow him to conduct some security analysis of the company's network. He considered it to be a good opening for gaining some control over IT.

You bet, the IT dept. manager didn't like the idea. The IT manager (ITM) tried to dissuade first the SO, then the CEO, but couldn't win the argument. The CEO - having already given the permission to the security officer - didn't want to change it, even though he was explained that bringing in an external company that will run intrusive tests presents a security risk in itself.
The IT manager seemed to have lost the battle, when on one of the following days he wrote an e-mail to the CEO, saying that he will give all the help required to the SO and the security analysts, yet cannot, under the circumstances, be responsible for the security risk from the actions of the external company (he cited the risks).

Now the CEO didn't like it (if anything happens - he is to blame). The next day he gave the IT manager the power to control and supervise the testing, thus giving the IT manager control over the SO actions. Just the opposite of what SO wanted to achieve! IT manager won!

Strategy-wise - the IT manager withdrew all the resistance ("rolled back" as in tomoe nage), but now the CEO will get all the responsibility for the risk ("flip and crash").

Here two strategies were involved.
1. "Kill with a borrowed knife" (definition to be added)- the IT manager used the CEO to fend off the the SO's attack.
2. "Let him have it and regret!" - the secondary, ensuing conflict with the CEO was won by using the sudden withdrawal of resistance - and thus leading him into undesired position.
See definition of the "Let him have it and regret!" strategy and other examples of it's use here.

Office Depot - use of "offer a brick to win a gem"

Office Depot provides another excellent example of "offer a brick to win a gem" strategy.
Office Depot advertise that you can "buy and try" any (almost) product for two weeks.
If you do not like it - just return it - no questions asked.
People come there 'cause they know that they will not end up with something that doesn't suit them perfectly. If not they can just return and take another brand or design.

Analysis:
Well it's pretty obvious - they offer the "buy and try" = "the brick" to attract customers and sales = "the gem".

See definition of the "offer a brick to win a gem" strategy and other examples of it's use here.

Apple stores, Drugstore Wars and the use of "offer a brick to win a gem"

Apple Stores Success.
In an article in New York Times the author tells about the outstanding success of the Apple retail stores chain compared to all the competitors. The bottom line - he attributes the success of the stores to the "Genius Bar" located at every store and staffed with the diagnostic wizards whose expertise is available in one-on-one consultations — free. The offered ability to come and consult the wizards with the problems and to get the sometimes badly needed advice - that's what brings the people to the stores. They can also come and test the hard- and software before buying them.
The "genius bar" - "the brick" attracts people and as a result - sales.
Here is the New York Times article.

Drugstore Wars of the 80's.
In the great Drugstore Wars of the 1980's the competition was equal across the board. One chain of stores broke the deadlock by offering blood pressure machines in their stores. Customers could wander in, sit at the machine with their arm in the automated cuff, and have their blood pressure taken for free. No hassle, no pressure to buy anything, no charge for the service. Each machine was placed back in the pharmacy section so the customers walked the length of the store to get to the machine.

Equipping each store with an automated blood pressure machine required an investment, but it turned casual customers into consistent customers. Thousands and thousands of people suffer from high blood pressure, and the handy, free reading prompted them to use this certain drug store chain whenever they needed any of the items stocked there. They could pick up what they needed and check their blood pressure. Thus, the outlay of a few thousand dollars per store, with maintenance of a few hundred dollars every year, returned thousands of dollars more in revenue and profit.

See definition of the "offer a brick to win a gem" strategy.

Strategy: "Offer a brick to win a gem"

This is also one of the original 36 Chinese stratagems.

The idea is very simple - offer something of lesser value ("the brick") to gain something of higher value ("the gem").
I would say that this is probably one of the most used strategies.
"The brick" may be of real or illusionary value and may come in many forms - e.g. power, wealth, sex. When somebody flirts with the person in power trying to get him to do something, or tells him that "I could do this or that for you" - it is essentially "offer a brick to win a gem" in action.
It does not have to be an illusionary "bait" - the value may be very real. When store owners offer sales and discounts - they offer a little price reduction to get the profit or to get back the money invested in the "stale" product. Same thing when they offer to pay in many installments.
With kids - actually every time when you say "if you do this, you will get that" - using a "reward" - you use the "offer a brick to win a gem" strategy.
The simple applications of the strategy may look straightforward and maybe unexciting , but it may be used to reach the goal very effectively and in more sophisticated ways. As in the following examples:

Examples:
1. Apple stores, Drugstore Wars
2. Office Depot

Feeding a kid

Kids. You love them, but if you have to make them do something it may become ugly :).
My kid, 3+, is not a big "eater". Usually making him finish the meal is a problem.
Lots of "please eat", "finish the meal", etc. etc. were driving me and my wife mad. Well, I would be happy if he ate something - he knows if he is hungry or not - but my wife wanted him to eat a full meal every time. So, almost every meal it was "yelling time".
One day, in a flash of inspiration I had an idea. Well, the solution is nothing magical, and I bet many use it, but it still is a good application of a strategy - that's why I present it here.
It has two parts.
1. I told the kid that the sweets after the meal are a "dessert". And dessert is what you eat only if you have finished most of the meal.
2. I is up to you to finish the meal or not. I am fine if you just ate one spoonful. You don't want to eat - you are free to walk away from the table. But no dessert - it is only "after" the meal!
Well, I was surprised myself - it worked like magic! Even, if he eats veeeerrrrryyy slowly, I now tell him: "you eat way too slowly - the meal time is over - do you want me to take the plate away?" "Oh, sorry, no, you didn't eat enough to get the dessert!" You should see the way he digs into the plate then :)!
So, now the meals are much more pleasant, and quiet!

Strategies:
"Besiege Wei to save Zhao" is used here.
To "defend Zhao" in terms of the strategy - it was next to impossible to make him finish the meal.
"Besiege Wei" (attack something dear) - if he doesn't finish, there will be no dessert.

Psychologically, since it was turned into a rule - "dessert is something that comes only after you finished most of the meal" - is not a punishment if he doesn't get it. And it is not personal, as it is "if you do not finish, I will punish you by not giving you dessert!" Nobody is hurt, everybody is happy!
And, an additional bonus - if he says "no, I do not want to eat, never mind the dessert" - then you know that he really doesn't want to eat and can take it easy!

"smoking on watch" - example of "besiege Wei.." and "create something.."

The story happened during a training course in the army.
The course itself was a some variety of the basic training for the 30yrs+ and medical staff so it lasted just 2 weeks.
Anyway, towards the end of the course, several guys were caught smoking cigarettes on watch. That was actually a pretty usual practice on the camp. What was unusual - that the camp commander decided to have them tried for it. After the guys from one squad were tried - everybody was stunned. Well, everybody expected them to get punished by some form of the kitchen duty or toilet-scrubbing. But they were heavily fined instead. On the next day the trial was to take place in the other squad.
In the morning one of the guys of the second squad approached his sarge and asked him politely if the sarge was aware that the whole affair was not that fair - anybody could've been caught since it was a regular practice and there were no punishments for it before. The guy went on and said: "look, people are really upset with this stuff and there are all kinds of talking, but I bet you would not want people to refuse to be sworn in over this (the ceremony was to take place the next day), do you?"
The sarge left without a word, but the trial set for the afternoon was canceled. In the second squad nobody was tried or punished!

Two strategies were used here:
1. "Attack Wei to save Zhao"(see the definition):
It would've been impossible to defend once being on trial, but here something else - very important for the sergeant suddenly came under attack - the ceremony! He preferred to cancel the court altogether lest risk the danger of somebody refusing to be sworn in.
2. "create something out of nothing"(see the definition):
Actually, just a hint on the refusal to be sworn in was used - there were no actual talks about that in the squad.

Use example of "besiege Wei.." - a fight for remote control

If you think that these strategies and techniques can be used only in complex situations, here is a good example of the opposite. Yesterday my wife has shown me how well women have mastered the "besiege Wei to save Zhao" strategy - described here.

Here is the story :).
Late in the night we where lying in the bed and jokingly fighting for the control of the TV remote. Well, it seemed that in the end I have won, when, all of a sudden, she picked up the pillow and the blanket and said with resolution "OK, have it your way, but then I go sleep on the coach in the living room!". Well, as you would guess, I had really no choice but to give in :) - I didn't want to sleep alone over some joking fight.
And that was exactly the point of her counterattack - once it was clear that she will not be able to wrestle the remote out of my hands.

Strategies:
Besiege Wei to save Zhao.

Strategy: "Besiege Wèi to rescue Zhào"

This is one of the 36 Chinese stratagems.

When it is hard to defend against the attack
and the enemy and/or his defenses are too strong -
attack something that he holds dear.

The name of the strategy was given after this story:
The state of Wèi attacked Zhao with the full force of its army and laid siege to its capital.
Zhao turned to its allies for help and they launched an attack on Wei's capital thus forcing the army of Wei had to rush home - abandoning the siege.
On their way home they were ambushed and defeated.

An example of this strategy application in fighting:
If somebody grabs your lapel and you launch an attack at his groin, eyes or throat, he will promptly shift his focus to the attacked point, thus allowing you to easily escape his hold.

A true story.

In a mid size company, its IT department manager has discovered that the security (SO) officer of the company is trying to gain some more power in the company. In this case - come control over the IT department. To this end the SO persuaded CEO of the company to allow him to conduct some security analysis of the company's network. He considered it to be a good opening for gaining some control over IT.

You bet, the IT dept. manager didn't like the idea. The IT manager (ITM) tried to dissuade first the SO, then the CEO, but couldn't win the argument. The CEO - having already given the permission to the security officer - didn't want to change it, even though he was explained that bringing in an external company that will run intrusive tests presents a security risk in itself.
The IT manager seemed to have lost the battle, when on one of the following days he wrote an e-mail to the CEO, saying that he will give all the help required to the SO and the security analysts, yet cannot, under the circumstances, be responsible for the security risk from the actions of the external company (he cited the risks).

Now the CEO didn't like it. The next day he gave the IT manager the power to control and supervise the testing, thus giving the IT manager control over the SO actions. Just the opposite of what SO wanted to achieve!

Strategy-wise - the IT manager withdrew all the resistance ("rolled back" as in tomoe nage), but now the CEO will get all the responsibility for the risk ("flip and crash").

Here two strategies were involved.
1. "Kill with a borrowed knife" - the IT manager defended against the attack of the SO using the CEO.
2. "Let him have it and regret!" - the secondary, ensuing conflict with the CEO was won by using the sudden withdrawal of resistance - and thus leading him into undesired position.
See definition of the "Let him have it and regret!" strategy and other examples of it's use here.

"Carrot, rather than the stick"

Sometimes carrot works better then the stick.
Well, may be even most times.
Here are two examples of ingenious use of the "carrot".
I believe they where given by a professor at Boston University.

1. A secretary, due to various problems at home with a kid, was
arriving late to the office on a regular basis.
Every time she was "terribly sorry", but it continued.
Since it was the only problem with her and otherwise she
was very valued by the boss, he didn't want to use the "stick".
So, he decided to use the carrot. From that day on,
whenever she showed up for work on time - he would be
a bit extra nice to her, while if she was late - just
"neutral". After just a couple of weeks she started to arrive
on time!

2. At some small company an office manager started to dress
a little bit more provocative then it was comfortable for the
others. It was such a little bit too much that the boss really
didn't want to make an issue out of it. So, instead of commenting
negatively on the way she dresses, he started paying her
little compliments (obviously within the limits) on how well
she looks each time when she dressed less provocatively! Within a couple of weeks she changed her
dressing style to a tolerable level.

Application example of strategy "create something out of nothing"

True story.
Some people I know had an idea to build an "evening school" that would teach kids some extra math and physics - they felt that the public school doesn't do the job.
They needed external financial help to support this non-profit project. They have found a small town where one of the mayor's clerks promised to help with the grants from the mayor's office and maybe a place for the classes.
In a short while, it became clear that the clerk wants to steal the leadership of the project - because "he is the one" since he will bring the money.
To fend off the attack, the actual head of the project contacted officials in another town and in the next project's meeting revealed that the project is no more constrained to one town but has become "global". In these "new" circumstances the clerk couldn't claim the leadership since his influence was local and his importance for the project on the global scale was zero. He gave up - without fight! Of no less importance - he had no problem to continue with the project - since there was no open argument that he lost!. So he brought in the very important help that he promised - for some much lesser benefits then heading the project.

Note, that the "global image" was created out of nothing - by mere call or two to another town officials that haven't really promised anything.
Yet, it was enough to fend off the attack that otherwise would be difficult to defend against - he had a strong position, both money-wise and due to manipulation of the project's participants.

Strategy: "create something out of nothing"

This is one of the original 36 Chinese stratagems.
The idea is to use a trick or an illusion.
An illusion may come in a form of something incomplete - just a shell.

Strategy use examples:
Example 1.

Application example of strategy "let him have it and regret!"

Here is a real story.
A couple has bought an apartment, which they intended to let the in-laws live in for a while. The father-in-law, being a big boss in the past, decided to take active part in the refurbishment process.

So, the father-in-law - hyperactive but in total disconnect from reality - started driving his son-in-law nuts with "I want that" and "why don't they change this", etc. etc. After two weeks of daily arguments and fighting the absurd proposals and requirements of the father-in-law, the younger guy decided the he has had enough!

After a long night up and thinking he came next day to his father-in-law and said the following: "You know what, I give up. From now on - you decide. You say - me do!"
The old guy went "err...WHAT?!". He wanted the adrenalin of the action but not the burden of checking the feasibility, prices and etc. And after realizing that he will have to do that AND will be responsible for the results he immediately backed off: "No-no-no you decide! I do not know, and I do not understand enough...! You decide!". From that moment on, it was enough to ask "do you want to make the decision?" to bring him to his senses!

The young guy was shocked - in less then a minute of "non-direct" approach he has achieved what he couldn't get in two weeks of daily yelling and shouting!

Strategy: "let him have it and regret!"

When somebody pushes you, he leans on you and uses you as a support. If you suddenly remove that support - by seemingly letting him "win" - this actually makes him crash and "lose"!

Here is an example of martial arts application of the principle:

In the video - the attacked "falls back" under the pressure of the push, and rolls backwards while flipping the attacker in the air. The attacker crashes on his back hurting like hell! And giving you time to rise and take control - like here.
There is a whole set of such techniques in martial arts which are called sometimes "sacrifice techniques".

This idea can be used also on a not-physical level in a conflict - abruptly cease the resistance, while guiding the attacker into the "crash".

Pitfall: Be careful not to simply give in!

Strategy use examples:
Example 1 - at work.
Example 2 - at home.

What do I want to do here?

My wish is to create a collection of examples how the "strategic thinking" can be used in the conflicts and situations of everyday life.
There are many books on military strategy. There are books on how military strategy can be applied to business.
Yet, I think, the area where most conflicts occur - our daily routine - is not "widely" (an understatement here) covered by the books or our education.

Most of the daily conflicts are resolved/won by "head-on" approach - which is, "choose the right answer":
- not smart?
- burns lots of energy?
- if you are in a weaker position - you loose?
- causes damage to all involved?

I will try here to give examples of military strategies or martial techniques and their concrete applications to conflicts. With time I hope this blog will grow into a compilation that covers the 36 Chinese stratagems, some strategies and basic principles from Sun Tzu and techniques from martial arts. Wish me luck!